The cuke in question was, as I said, perfect: everything a cucumber should be (hard, crisp, bright green), its one flaw being a slightly squooshy end and a torn package. This blemish was maybe two inches long. Two inches of, let me point out, a good 18 inches of cucumber.
It was not inedible, it was unsellable.
I took it home with my cheese and bread (for those who don't know, Hamel has awesome day-old bread for super cheap) and lopped off the last little bit, just as I would if the item already lived in my fridge.
Voila! Perfect cucumber. Longer, I might also point out, than many a store bought one.